March 20, 2015

For a while I feared I was losing it as my grasp on reality was a loosening bolt ready to go frenzied any moment in time. My heart felt crushed as I packed my bags going from a city, which I thought would be my playground, back to root one. Truth of the matter was I was deeply heart-broken and flourished within self disappointment as I pretended to be confident in my irrational decision to leave art school in the midst of progress. Really, I've only had one more semester to receive my diploma and one step from doors opening. I was always that kind of person--the person who never sucks it up and pull through or the one to live against the grain. Once I feel unsettled in one location, I must move on the next. I am always that girl. One day I packed my bags to move to NYC all alone with nothing but a couple hundred of bucks. In hindsight, I admire myself yet I am also afraid for myself. For the past couple of years, I've lived with some tinge of regret that I wasted a couple of years practicing a dance I could never master but as I look through these thin glass and ponder about the snow flakes, life is inevitable. It is inevitable for me to try things that won't suit my taste. Like they say, there are more than meets the eyes. I have been regretting that my eyes always want the finest and the wildest, but I am now more than content I've been to places and have done things I could've missed out if I was too scared to dip my toes in the water. Sure, it was cold, but it was refreshing.